Yesterday I

• Rowed the 4+ with tyler, Raoul and Alex D.  I was in 2.  It was fun.  We did lower rate pieces lots of pause drills, and we were generally faster than the 4-'s around us (with older crews).  A lovely morning with calm water.  I noticed that I couldn't distinguish the rocks from their reflection in the playpen on the way out, conditions were that smooth.
• I hustled home to get Johann up as Kel's knee is in rough shape.  We hustled over to the East bay for his speech therapist appointment only to find the building was closed.  The text I got the night before was cryptic, and I didn't understand it was from kaiser. 
• We dropped him at daycare, and I did very little work until Kel asked me to go with her to her Orthopedist appointment.  He offered MRI or drainage, and I think MRI is best.  Let's learn what's going on. We got Subway on the way home.
• Johann had his 18 month checkup, and is following an expected growth curve, but is just super small.  No word on the developmental stuff.  At this point it's less about looking for causes and more about treating the situation.  I'm hoping we can help him, but it's feeling pretty desperate. I want him to catch on.
• I took care of him and kel last night, feeding him the "salmon shepherds pie" from when Jon and Romi cooked for us.  He ate OK.  We worked very hard on words, and he may have gotten "more" ("mo").  It was inconsistent, but we tried to reward it with a response. He did go straight to the flowers in the back yard (purple and tiger lily) when I just gave him the spoken cue that I wanted to see some flowers.  He picked a rose with his bare hands in the front yard, which we brought in.  He wanted it through out the meal.  Placed it in a tulip glass.
• Slept with Kel, who had a rough night sleeping,  Lots of snoring and tossing and turning.  I think I'm on my own for a while.

Today I

• Up before 6 with kel, who couldn't sleep well at all due to her knee.  It was clear she needed to go to the ER, so we both split up communication wioth the BBQ guests for today, whom we notified that we had to cancel.  She went to the Er, I stayed home with little man.
• Fed munchkin eggs, which I'd made for Kel, and some mango babyfood.  Johann was a bit puzzled when Kel came home, seeing her on crutches. Kel sent us out to the Pharmacy to get her script filled.
• Put mini man in a cart, and drove around the store.  Got him matchbox cars, and ritz crackers.
• Home, tried to get Kel her meds.  She was sick to her stomach.  Bad news.
• Fed little man pizza for lunch, but he didn't really go after it.
• Got him down for a nap, made Kel a tuna sandwich, that didn't go well for her.  Jon and ROmi stopped by to see how we were doing, and they offered to cook dinner for us.  
• Plunked Kel on the couch watching national Lampoons family vacation. 
• gave Johann peanutbutter on ritz crackers for snack.  He liked it.
• I realize how much tidying Kelly does.  Place is just gross without her help.  I try to keep it clean, but little luck.

Today I

• Turned on the fan to cool the house further when I got up and left for the boat house.
• Stroked the 4- with Bjorn in 3, Raoul steering, Steve Johnson in 2.  It was decent.
• Stopped off to get milk for the house and the little man as requested.
• Made the mistake of under estimating Kel's hormonality this morning. She went nuclear when she didn't like how I complained that she hadn't followed my precise request for the baby's breakfast. Typical hormonally compromised behavior of seeking out conflict and perceiving any annoyance as a complete attack.
• Buttoned up the house to try to keep it cool.  It hit 92. outside, but inside we peaked at 80 at about 6:30 PM.
• Saw a hipster kid with a purple stocking hat on the way to pick up Johann. It was 90. Hilarious.
• Johann and I went to the grocery to get BLT ingredients.  He loved being in the cart.  He did try to pull his legs out, though, so I had to seat belt him.  He didn't mind.
• He played around while I started on dinner.  He seemed to want a snack, so i put him in his chari and let him see me in the kitchen.  He gestured tht he wanted the pineapple i was cutting up.  I asked if he wanted it, got his eye and asked for a "yes".  He gave me a "yes!" so I cut the pineapple up as fast as I could and gave him some, and he really seemed to like it. He then started playing a game where he gave me "monster face" when our eyes would meet, and laugh.  I think he was really happy, and enjoying playing with me. 
• I put a piece of bacon in the food processor and obliterated it into bacon bits.  Johann liked these.  I mixed them into a smashed avocado, along with some Gorgonzola cheese and spread this on little squares of toast.  Johann ate  these with enthusiasm.  I was pleased.
• Kel came home and I got to make myself a BLT. It was great though I realize between the bacon, avocado and cheese, it's a fat and salt bomb. No wonder it's so good.
• I took a bath with mini man.  He had a good time splashing about in there.  he helps to wash his hair.  It's super cute.
• We let him run around in his diaper for a while.  He was in a great mood.  I read him a story that he handed to me, but he lost interest.  He did hold out for the "where is baby's belly button" book, so we may have to put that into heavy rotation.

Today I

• Couldn't get up with my 5 Am alarm.  I stayed in bed with Kel until 7:20.
• Little man was asleep when I got up.  Kel was in the shower.  I got in after her.
• I grabbed a short breakfast and got online. Kel kept Johann in the pack.  He didn't really want breakfast.
• About 11 the lady from the north bay regional center came to do the in home evaluation and questionnaire for Johann.  He was his usual silly self, liking to be upside down, etc.  In the grand scheme of things, he's actually doing OK.
• Kel took Johann to daycare for lunch, and went on to the city. 
• I got him from daycare and we went to the little park.  Swings.  Then Johann played on the tiny slide, and can almost climb up it.  Just needs a little help.  He went down the slide a few times, holding on to me.  He's definitely interested, as he holds me and pulls himself onto the decline.  He then climbed up all the stairs from the toddler area to the big park, and met Coco the dog.  He picked a clover, and offered it to me to smell.
• Fed him quiche for dinner.  He ate most of it, then wanted down, so we played in the front yard and the side.  I noticed there are little bur-generating plants growing all throughout the front yard.  I don't recall them being there before.  There's not a lot of real grass left there.
• Came back inside and i fed hm a beet-based chouch.  He liked the game of squirting some on the spoon, then delivering the spoon to his own mouth.  He's getting better at using a spoon.  But the end was messy.
• Tonight, while Kel held him, he kind of gave her two sloppy kisses on the cheek.  They may be his first kisses ever to her, today on his 18 month birthday.  I took a bunch of pictures of him.
• We had fun with me superman carrying him through the house and running.  He loves it.  It winds me.

Today I

• Got up when I woke to finish mother's day cards for Kelly.  Got little man up, gave him milk.  He quickly needed another diaper change.
• Kel woke up feeling a bit rough, but once her meds kicked in, was better.  I made rosemary popovers and hit the shower.  Then kell hit the shower, so Johann and I met her when she came out with her presents, the Tibetian necklace and earrings. I think the were a success.
• Kel spoke to her mom, and we tried unsuccessfully to fix her internet connectivity problems.  Just cant' help her over the phone.
• Got on skype with my mom.  She was at Aunt Jody's with suzie and grandma, so I got so see all of them.
• Booked plane tickets to Ft. Wayne (chicago) for June.
• Romi and Jon stopped y while we fed Johann quiche for lunch.  He took down a lot of it.
• Tried to get little man to nap, but little luck.  I drove Jon and Romi to the Airporter for their trip to France.
• Took a break on the couch, but got Johann up when it was clear he wasn't sleeping.
• I made butternut squash soup, roasted cauliflower and kale chips (for the first time) for dinner.  I tried to give Johann kale chips, but he just crushed them like dry leaves in his hands and then dusted the flakes off.  No nutrition there.
• I got him to walk while holding just one hand by offering the second. He just walks towards it to get it and ends up taking 4 or 5 steps holding with just one hand.  It's good progress.
• He was super interested in the hats on the shelf above Kelly's closet.  He's into hats.
• Mellow evening with Kel.  I'm pretty exhasuted going into a Monday, but I'm sure Kel doesn't feel super, either.

Today I

• Slept in, had some snuggles with Kel.  had to feed Johann at midnight last night.  He demanded yogurt.
• Made oatmeal for myself and little man.  He liked it, a little, but was very anti-red raspberry, which was odd.  Kel made quiches and I had Johann escort me outside. He liked playing in the greenhouse.
• I made Kel more cookies, at her request.  She fed little man some quiche, which he loved.

Yesterday I

• Got up a bit after Kel.  She informed me that things were not looking good for the pregnancy.  We discussed the plan of action for the day.  She stayed home and worked from home.  She had some morning calls, as did I.  When I was done I found her lying down in the guest room.  We called her doctor together, and the word was not good.  I called Dustin to tell him what was going on and that I was going to be out for today.
• Kel's situation got a bit worse, so she started in on her meds.  She asked me to come with her to the grocery store.  Did that, dropped off pants to get cleaned, she got a burrito at Sonoma.  At CVS, they didn't have her prescription ready, but she realized she had enough already to get through.  The cookie started to kick in about 90 minutes after she ate it and she felt a lot better.
• I worked a bit, got munchies from daycare. Told Sirlei and Xana what was going on. Xana was in her van, and I could tell it was upsetting for her.
• I made the "french" peasant chicken dinner, along with biscuits.  Johann loved them.  Kel reached out to Xana and found out she was going through the same thing, so I delivered some cookies and some beers to their house.
• Johann did some more laps in his push walker.  Andrew called, and Johann wanted to see him on the phone.  He waves at the phone, as if people can see him.  We switched to skype, and then Johann didn't wave.  Had a long chat.  Kel put little man down most of the way through.
• I checked my mail and found that all was well for lineups.  Dustin got Julian to sub in for me, so all good.

Today I

• Up to row.  Practiced our 8+ for Saturday.  Should be fast.  Not very effective at the high rates in the start, but we had good base speed and very good closing speed.  Somewhat nervous about my races, but I hope we win.
• I got home and Kel was at the table with Johann, who was drinking his milk.  No one was having the rhubarb cobbler I made last night.  I remembered there might be zucchini flowers this morning, and there were.  I made two, gave one to Johann.  Seeing him with it in his hand made me happy.  He was a bit of a mess eating it, had it in pieces, but he did seem to like it.  I sent Kel with rhubarb cobbler and another one for Sirlei.  I put Johann in the car.
• Kel told me this morning things weren't good for her.  Back to spotting and feeling yucky.  I asked her to have a plan for pulling the plug on work, which she did.
• Kel did her second blood test today.  We'll get another result tomorrow to see how things are ramping. We're prepared for bad news.  If it's not going to work, we'd all prefer it to happen sooner.
• I chatted with my girls about our first candidate today.  They seemed positive, and the interviews went well. I got blown off for a call by my boss again.  Pretty awful.
• Interviewed another good candidate. She was in Trinidad.  Amazing, the internet. The world is getting smaller.  I think it's amazing.
• Ended up crashing for a while today.  I admit, it feels nice to not feel totally exhausted.  I'm just leery of messing up my sleeping patterns.
• Mailed mother's day presents at the Terra Linda office. They enter the address directly when printing the shipping label.  I think it does the auto routing for the whole package for the whole route.  Pretty smart to get the human to read it.
• Got Johann.  He wanted a pretzel stick.  Xana showed me that he's eating un blended food now, so I gave him un-ground food tonight. I think the more he chews, the better for his vocal and lingual development.  He didn't like the curry that much, but he was happy with the rice and beans.  He wasn't nuts about the rhubarb, but I'll give him time on that.
• Johann did a lot of pushing of his walker again tonight.  He really goes with it.  I think it's a pretty good sign, he's getting faster with is foot turnover, which will help him be more stable.  Still not much progress on free standing, though.
• Chatted with Kel on the couch for a bit after little man went down.  Talked about exploratorium plans for Sunday, and that it may not make sense for them to come to the races on Saturday, though it would be fun to have a family day.  I don't understand my dad's choices in life.  I don't understand his priorities. I want to do things with Johann every day.  Maybe he was like that early on, but then it went away when there were many kids? I don't know.

Today I

• Weight circuit with the guys.  Breard, Kennel, Wagner, JJ, Brian Kelley, and Patrick were all there. I did well.  Hard, but not impossible.
• Home to find Kel changing munchkin on his changing table.  Much snuggling.  I couldn't help take him to the car because I had undressed for my shower.
• Chatted with our designer about the display for the PVI stuff.  Gave feedback on proposed calculators.  Gave my girls instructions on interviewing.
• Enjoyed a nap with Mystery.  The circuit got me.  Enjoyed Kel's (my) curry for lunch.
• The cleaning girls came today, and I did ok.  They were pretty quiet.  I re-wrote some of the SQL for the PCl index, and it went well.  Need to finish it.
• Chatted with Simon.  His presentation went well, and he was grateful for my help.  He passed out my deck to the bankers.
• Forgot to finish mother's day cards, so sat down to get cards ready to mail.  Got Johann from daycare, went to Walgreens.  Put him in a cart, and he loved it.  Got mailer envelopes, and raided the 75% off Easter candy.  Gave mini man a few bites once back in the car.  He's developing opinions about being in the seat, things he wants to see, carts, etc.
• Once home, he tried to crawl out the front door while I had it open unloading the car.  We played inthe front yard, where he played in the sandy and dry dirt in the begonia pot.  He picked up a few fist fulls of dirt.  Not a big deal.  But then he held one aloft over his head, and then opened his hand.  The dirt went very much in his mouth, and on his face.  But he didn't cry.  I immediately started trying to get it out of his mouth, which he didn't mind too much.  Again, largely unfazed by it.  He then picked at the old moss by the bushes, and tried to eat a few muddy moss chips. He peeked under the bushes at Midori, who was there.  She was always in orbit the whole time we were out there.  Johann wanted to go in the greenhouse, and tried to lick a bunch of things he shouldn't like the bottles in there.  We did a general tour of the yard, watering things. Eventually we went inside, and he did a few laps with his walker.
• Kel brough mexican, and we blended some shrimp and veggies to mix with his refied beans, which he enjoyed and ate heartily. I found my chorizo burrito too hot.  We blended some Sierra Nevada black IPA with Kel's ODoul's and that was pretty good for her, her favorite yet.  SO we saved the rest to use as an additive.  I gave up on mine and had a doppleboch.
• Johann did a ton of laps up and down the long hallway with his push cart.  Kel got video.  He was laughing and laughing.  He loved to "chase" someone with it.  That was too funny for him. He's making some walking progress, and is much faster with his walker than he is crawling.  I think he'll start to transition soon, I hope.  
• I harvested rhubarb, and there's a rhubarb crisp in the oven right now.  I'm going to turn it off and go to bed.
• Kel Bathed with Johann, who had a great time.
• Kel read him Goodnight Moon while I held him, and pointed at the pictures.  He pointed at a few things.  He did a decent job of answering what turkeys say.  I think I heard a "W" sound while in walgreens.

Today I

• Rowed 2 seat in an 8+ for the weekend.  I coached Bjorn in 3 a bit, and he made good changes.  I think maybe I should stroke, though. Seems Mike wasn't as good, and I think I'm better than our other options.
• Short Birthday reception for JJ after practice.  I chatted with Dustin about the fallout from the 4 accident.
• Home, plugged in car to top it up for Kel.  Little man seems to have scratched his face in the night.  Pretty bad one on his right cheek.  I put antibiotic on it.
• Work in box was very full.  Took me a long time to face the email from my boss.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it could be. Now it looks like I'm traveling for May 22.
• Kel was pretty fried, so I got Johann from daycare, picked up the mother's day prints I had made, and then went to the grocery to get stuff to make dinner.  He waved at a lady in the yogurt aisle, and she dropped her phone trying to wave back. he made some days.  He really likes the carts. Upon leaving CVS, he was bummed not to get to go in one.  Did turkey burgers on the grill with the usual, plus candied pecans and Gorgonzola on arugula. Yum.  Not low cal.  Kel watched mini man while I cooked.
• After dinner, Kel crashed onthe couch, so I took mini man outside.  We did a few walking lengths of the hallway with his push cart.  He just runs with it.  Tonight I tried "three, two one, Go!" and he seemed to get it.  He went on "go!" and laughed his head off as I gave him a "wooooo!" as he trotted down the hall at top speed, pausing only to laugh too hard to keep going.  I read him the little engine that could.  I need to look for an old copy of it on eBay, etc.  Out of print, something like that.
• I got him down about 8:30.  He may have understood when i told him I'd be right back, because I left him in his crib, but he didn't cry.  I came back with the antibiotic ointment for his face. 
• Kel was out so I sorted mother's day pictures for the grandmas. 
• Lifting tomorrow.

Today I

• Awoke to Kel in the shower.  Got up with her and little man. 
• Kel made a lovely breakfast of truffle salted scrambled eggs with mushrooms and green peppers.  Johann didn't want his oatmeal much, but ate some of the eggs.
• We went to the farmers' market with Romi and Jon. I had bug in the pack.  Head a lovely cellist on the way out.
• Kel departed for her spa day, and I had bug with me.  He and I did mother's day shopping.  First to the Walgreens for cards, and then a side trip to Fairfax for things for Kel.  I got Johann some of the 75% off easter candy.  I fed him the "crunch" chocolate little bird thing in the car, and he liked it.  Kind of let the chocolate melt in his mouth.  Then he fell asleep on the way to Fairfax, so I sat with him in the car for about an hour while he napped and I kind of drifted. 
• Back home, tried to feed him some snack.  He really hasn't shown any liking of pineapple, which is odd. He did a lot for crawling in the front yard, in and out of the gate, and shows interest in the soccer ball.  He liked to follow midori, who just runs away from him, but always remains within observational distance.
• Kel came home and instructed me through making her curry.  Johann unexpectedly threw up while I was grinding up his curry, so instead of curry he was just fed yogurt.  Hope he's OK.  Kel bathed him.  I just neede a break and had a beer.  I wish I'd been there to participate, but it sounds like they had fun in the tub.
• Jon and Romi came over for Game of Thrones.  I opened the Sam Adams New World triple, and it was really yummy.

Today I

• Up to row.  No Dustin, so out in 4-s.  Me in stroke, Noah steering, John Davis in 2.  All was fine, until doing a piece in with Alan's 4, at a high pressure 23ish, we hit a quad coming out.  Both of us were in the middle ish, though I think we were more in the wrong.  Spencer in the bow took John's oar to the back hard.  John's rigger got destroyed.  The back stay on the bow port rigger int he quad got bent, and both bow and two had their oars shattered in the quad.  Total fiasco.  I felt really bad.  I hate being a party to anything like that.  Not really my fault in stroke, but it's kind of everyone's responsibility.
• Kel awoke feeling shit from no sleep, so was unsure she'd swim.  But she sowed at the boathouse with tiny man, and said she wanted to meet me for breakfast at the plaza, so I took tiny man over, fed him chouch in his stroller, then bits of my toast and coffee cake.  I tried to feed him some eggs, but not interested.  Kel arrived, and we hung out through her breakfast, talked with Allison about her dating life.  Then Jim called, so i talked with him while Kel went to Molly Stones.
• Tiny man fell asleep on my way home, and I managed to get him into his bed without waking him. When I got home William was here fixing the roof.   Kel got home and went down for a nap.  I cuddled up in the guest room with the iPad and Midori and soon found myself asleep, too.  We all slept for a few hours.
• Jon dropped by to test a cookie. Early word is it works.
• I had Johann outside a lot, working on walking on his walker.  He's getting better all the time.  
• Had William in for some beers after his work.  Heard a lot about growing Agave in Mexico, life there.  He's a good guy.  I want to help him. 

Yesterday I

• Kel was awake before I was, and told me she was possibly symptomatic of losing the pregnancy.  I pulled her back into bed with me, and just went over that this is all a  good sign, no matter what.  I wanted to think about action-orientation, so we though tthrough all the things that might need adjusting if things were going south.  Included a plan for her to come home from work, maybe needing to rebook her time with the girls on Sunday.  I made a plan to make her edible medicine up.
• I spent most of the morning researching dosing to get it right.  Went with 10 g coco butter for a 12 cookie recipe.
• Had a pretty useless work day.
• Good news was Kel made it through the whole day. I expected her to come home at any minute.
• Skyped with Steve later at night.  Both of us ended up staying up later than we'd have hoped, but was good to talk to Steve.  Chatted a lot about my shitty work situation.  Steve pointed out that I'm probably channeling a lot of bad learned shit from the parents.  I fear he's right.  I wish I could be different.
• He also pointed out that the only way to get the dosing right was experimentation.

Today I

• No coach for practice today, driving the trailers up to Sacramento for CJs.  I steered a 4- with Raoul, Bob, Bjorn.  As ide from hitting a piling with my feathered oar on a 30 on, 10 off pass, it was good.  Bjorn did well after the first 5 strokes of each piece when he'd relax and let the boat flow.  We did some starts, etc.
• Came home to see little man with Kel. She had a presentation on the peninsula today, so took off early.
• William came by to finish the roof.  He came in for water, I gave him some and a tour of the brewery, and poured him a taste.  He's a sweet man.
• Got little man from daycare, and he was in a good mood.  He was playing with stackable blocks.  Sirelei says he gets a kick out of trying to tickle the other kids.  he just wants to make everyone laugh.
• On the way to the car he signed for "more" turns out he wanted Oliver out of his day bag.  At least he understands the symbol is that he wants something.  It's really great progress. He still does the turkey noise, and tonight we may have taught him "cow".  He laughs at "ooooo".
• I drove to Beer Revolution in Oak to meet Christopher.  Lovely night.  We chatted with some girls, which was totally uncharacteristic.  I think we both registered as "harmless" and possibly also "old". He and I discussed many things.  He and I are more alike than I knew.  I'd love to find my next thing through him.  He may do an introduction.
• Drove the leaf.  I had pre-calculated that I could do the trip.  Drove home conservatively, and had plenty of range to spare.  Fun to see how far I can go in the car.
• There were snickerdoodles on the table for me when I got home.  What a great girl I have.  Takes me back to our early days together.  So sweet.