Today I

Flew home from Indiana.  We had gone back to see Grandma.  We had gotten word a few weeks ago that, if her new chemo wasn't working, she'd have little time.

I'm glad we made the plans when we did, and I'm glad we went when we did.  She declined pretty fast in the three days we were there.

When we saw her on Sunday, Kel and I got to surprise her with the news that we're expecting another one.  Everyone in the family was stunned, and grandma was thrilled that we told her first.  So happy to have given her that boost.

Johann was a bit nervous about being around her, and understandably so, with the oxygen, etc.  It was sad in some ways, that he just doesn't know that this was his last chance with her.  He just doesn't know.  But he settled down enough for grandma to give him kisses.  She watched him laugh and play and interact with everyone in the living room, from her new bed, and she smiled.  She made faces with him when he made some faces for her.  She played with him.

She told me she loves me, that she and grandpa will always be with us.  Told me not to fight, to always look after each other.  That my mom has worked hard. That she'll miss us, that she doesn't want to go, and has things to do.  I suppose that's a good thing.  I better not run out of things to do or reasons to be here.

Today, I whispered in her ear the secret of my fortune with the IPO.  I told her not to worry about mom, because the IPO made me a m.....  I want to always remember the look she gave me.  It was both a smile and a super sly look of pride.  As if to say "I'm thrilled, and also, you fucker for not telling anyone, but also, so awesome that you didn't tell anyone".  She told me it made her happy and made her not worry about my mom so much. She asked me to look after her and the others, and I told her I have broad shoulders.  She also told me to make sure mom picks up after herself. I think she was half joking.

I promised her we'd all always be close, that the cousins are all tight and would remain so.  I credited her and grandpa with my success, as they're the ones who pushed for education, and helped fund mine.

In her time with Kelly, grandma put her hand on Kelly's abdomen, in a little moment of giving some great grandma love to the new one.

Grandma told me yesterday not to worry, that if she didn't like it, she'll come back.  I laughed.  Today I told her to hug Grandpa for me. 

The only thing I ma have left unsaid is that there's always a path back for Uncle Bob, but I know she knows this.

I wore my pink heart today.

On the plane home, Kel and I had middle seats on opposite sides of the aisle.  The lady next to me was very kind, she has a 7 month old.  People were pretty good to us.  Johann was pretty cute.  The lady next to me was less thrilled, but it made me a bit more positive about humans.

I don't know how much time I have with grandma. There's no one in the world who loves me like she does, and I tolde her.  She said "darn right".

Today "who will make the cookies?"  Told her I'd think of her, especially at Christmas.  I'll make cookies with Johann and talk about her.  Maybe my mom will do that with him, too.

Today I

• Pulled a 1:21.0 for 30 seconds
• Helped Johann to stand on his own in the front yard.  He then took three steps towards me, and fell onto me, hugging my neck. It was perfect.  He's going to be OK.

Today I

• Tonight, Johann was on the back patio after dinner, and was curious about a not-quite-ripe tomato near the door.  He had just seen me bring one in. I told him that no, we can't pick it, we have to wait, and he got a bit upset.  So I offered him the chance to pick the other tomatoes, the cherry tomatos.
• I gave him one, and he of course, squished it right away.  Then I tried to pop one directly in his mouth, and he found this hilarious.  So we played that game for a while, me trying to put it in his mouth, him looking incredulously at me and laughing.
• When Kel came out, I thought I'd show him the tomatoes were for eating by giving it to her.  She ate is.  Johann thought this was funny, and wanted me to do it again.  I did.  Still funny.
• Kel went in, and Johann and I picked a few more. He eventually ate some.  But then I picked one, and he said "Mum!".  I carried him in to where Kel was sitting at the kitchen table, writing email on her laptop announcing her new job to her current consulting partners.  Johann held out the cherry and put it in Kel's mouth.  Then signed "more, more!".
• So we spent the next 15 minutes back and forth to the garden and the house, Johann sometimes eating some (and squirting seeds all over himself) but generally preferring to give them to Kelly, and sometimes to me.
• As we had picked nearly every available tomato out there, I brought him back in, and we were playing onthe white couch.  I had a few tomatoes in my hand.  I gave Johann one, while he was standing.  He chose to put it in my mouth.  So sweet.  I told him "thank you" and he gave me the sweetest hug, snuggling in and patting me like a giant friendbeast.  Then he grabbed my face, gently, and put a kiss on my cheek.  It was just the best.  Felt like his way of thanking me for the fun in the garden.
• I planted those cherry tomatoes with the sole hope of Johann picking them and liking them.  I wanted him to have memories of them, and I really hope tonight will have helped make that happen.  it was all worth it.   

Today I

• Got up with Johann, and gave him cereal and milk. He wasn't too interested, but he did sign "cereal".
• On Saturday, we got into the car at the grocery store after shopping, and he pointed forwards wanting something. He was pointing to the sun roof.  I asked him if he wanted it opened, and he signed "open".  He was very happy when I understood and we drove home with the sunroof open.
• While grocery shopping Sunday I opened the box of cinnamon toast crunch for him and gave him some while shopping.  He signed/ asked for "fruit", so I let him have a nectarine. He tried to bite it directly.  Didn't work, but it was cute.
• Kel came home from her swim today, asked what I wanted to do with my day, and I thought of going to the exploratorium.  Because it was a little rainy today.  Johan was crawling outside with me when it came down a bit.
• The exploratorium is really cool, but probably for bigger kids. Still, had fun with little man in the pack, and letting him crawl around on the deck outside.  I got a bit sunburnt chasing after him.  We tried to feed him lunch, and he took down some of it.  Got burritos on the drive home. Johan slept most of the way home.
• I tried to put in the latest electronic cat door.  Made progress, but still not 100% done.
• Johann kept asking for my beer tonight.  He'd die laughing after each sip. His face turned red, and he'd just laugh.
• Johann asked for a bath, and I gave it to him. Then some naked time on the bed with Kel.
• I tried to read him "three little kittens" but not very interested.

Today I

• Got up to go do the weight circuit.  I'm really flying through it these days, not struggling much. I hope it turns into good results on the erg.
• Home.  Kel was up and little man was still in bed.  I had some cereal, he woke up, I fed him a morsel of granola on his way out of the bedroom.
• I had a technically difficult webex with a possible BI vendor,soI didn't get much time with Johann in the morning.
• Watched Holland lose on penalties to Argentina in the semi.
• Made big progress on smoothing coefficients. Kelly took care of munchie tonight, though I took brief breaks to play with him.  He laughed his tail off chasing me and kel down the hall with his weighted push cart.  I signed "chase" and "play" for him.  Later on, he signed "car" wanting to go outside and play with the EV's plug again, so I think he has that sign down.  I also took him for rides in the blue car in the side patio.  He seems to understand what we say very well now, even thugh his expressive vocabulary is limited.
• Had some delicious 3 twins chocolate peanut butter cup for dessert, along with sushi for dinner.  Yummy night.

Today I

• Steered the 4-, with breard, JJ, McHugh. I got us to relax our front end, place together, then push, and we basically beat everyone all day.  I got major kudos for the coaching/ coxing from the bow.
• I took little man to daycare, and did a quick hand off to Xana.
• Found out form work that Paul S may want to move the sales analyst staff to my team, finally.  Shocker.  I'll need to be gracious and good.
• Johann's PT came by for the first time today. She's largely assessing him.  she thinks a lot of it is core strength, and he needs to get some leg strength too.  We'll have to work with him every day. She'll send exercises.
• Johann's signing is coming along great. He does "flower" and "eat" very well.  He's enjoying being able to ask for what he wants.  It's great to see him connectin the dots.
• I worked late on an SQL problem.  It was tough, I didn't get much time with little man. I think I finally got it, though.  Will help me tomorrow.

Today I

• Woke up in the tent in the side yard with Johann.  I set it up yesterday, and showed it to him, and he was ok with it, but not super interested.  I put the air mattress, but also the orange mats, and then Kel put just about every pillow in the house around the air mattress.  When it was time to go in, all three of us went in, but once he got fussy and needed to settle in, Kel left us.  He kept crawling for the door, but then I told him we were sleeping there,and he followed my lead.  Eventually he drifted off to sleep, and so did I.  He woke up in the night crying, i think he was a bit cold, even though we dressed him in a pretty fleecy- sleepy suit. At first he didn't want to be covered with his blanket, but then he settled in on top of me, and fell asleep.  We slept like that a bit, him on my belly, me on my back.  Eventually he moved off, next to me, and i could cover him with my blanket, and he did fine.  He just slept perpendicular to me, which was tough, but I managed.  It was a successful night.  He really liked the head lamp.  Was super excited about the light.  This morning I bounced him on the air mattress.  
• Kel went to swim, so I took mini man to see about the beer judging.  Turns out it wasn't awards, but judging happening that day.  So I took him ot he farmer's market in the pack.  I think he got sunscreen in his eye, it was red and teary, poor guy.  We got a roasted chicken and potatoes, and KEl eventually found us over there, after missing finding us the first time.  I got two tomato plants, a black cherry and a pineapple.  WIll eb interested to see what I get.
• Johann fell asleep on the way hiome, and I managed to get him out of his seat while still asleep, and into his crib, where he slept for about 3 hours.  I'm guessing he didn't have the greatest night sleep last night.  Good to note for future camping.
• I packed up the tent this afternoon.  It was nearly 100 today. I also transferred all the medicinal plants to their final pots.  They seem to be doing OK.
• Kel made a Tahi curry with coconut rice for dinner, and it was good.  Johann inhaled his and wanted more.  His signing is getting better, and he's using "yes" more spontaneously, and seems to understand "flower" and can say where his head is when asked.  This is good.
• Kel announced that she needs more cookies so I baked a batch for her.
• Jon and ROmi came over to wath season 4, ep 9 of game of Thrones with us.  Jon brought a blackberry sour from Almanac.  SUPER sour.  Very tart.