Tough time

Today I:

• Had a good row in the 4- with Paul, Alan, and Raoul
• Carried Johann this morning and played with him before daycare.  We played with his pegs and his music blocks.  I tried to teach him "red" and "green" and "peg" and "block" with the red and green pegs and red and green blocks. Still only a lot of "MMMM" sounds from him.
• Took Johann to his swimming lesson. Kelly had a call that ran late.  He got a bit anxious as soon as I picked him up, and I'm afraid he gets that by sensing my feelings. I hate to see him frightened and crying.  Sirlei said he was trying to take steps between two high chairs.  It made me very sad to think I'm likely to miss his first steps, because they'll happen at daycare.
• Had a very hard time leaving Johann back at daycare after swimming.  He just wanted to be held by me, and cried when I handed him over.  I cried in the car and at home. It breaks my heart.  I know why people stay home with their children.
• Made butternut squash soup for dinner with the squash from the garden. Johann likes it.
• Found my missing camera battery.  Fully charged, nearly.  I'm back in business for taking pictures! 
• I took video of picking up little man from daycare, and of him on the swing at the park.
• Put him in the pack when I came home to make him dinner and fed him chicken and the squash soup and yogurt.
• Had a challenging time getting him into his sleepy clothes because he's such a wiggle monster on the changing table.  Resorted to putting him on the floor.
• He cried when I put him in his crib. He really wants to stay up with us.  He likes to play with the light switch on the wall right by his crib.  I gave him a little milk because I thought he might be a little hungry.  He stopped crying after a short while,but stayed up for a bit, talking to himself, which is adorable.